27 April 2015

When Past Self-Destruction Meets Self-Awareness

I had a moment of weakness the other night where I wanted to destroy, destroy, destroy.
A past that still lingers can be such a terrible thing. Sometimes progress cannot overcome years of self-destruction... years in which your subconscious spent all of it's time constructing the perfect built-in obsolescence. Sitting patiently. Waiting for the most inopportune moment to strike.

But sometimes you learn to reevaluate your negative emotions before any real damage can be done.
And for that I am thankful.
Overtime, if you're lucky, you learn the proper methods of self-care and actions of positive self-talk. You tell yourself good things, things the old you would have never said. You are good. You are kind. You can get through this. You learn to not be so hard on yourself. And you reinforce to yourself that the past is the past, besides look how far you've come!

Yes, you may learn, but that doesn't always mean you follow through.
Except the other night I did.

So here's to personal growth, the acceptance of negative thoughts, the knowledge to let those thoughts come and go without action, and to the complex ebb & flow of self-awareness.

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