Accepting Our Past, In An Attempt To Grow

And we make it through the days. Hour by hour, minute by minute. Sometimes we ponder what the future might hold. While other times our mind is stuck reliving the past. And we all know that the past isn't always good. There are heartaches that we may not have fully healed from. There are happy moments that we wish would never end. There is loss, sadness, pain, and betrayal. But there is also love, compassion, encouragement, and knowledge. All representing a life well spent, a life well lived. So, in those moments when life feels stagnant, overwhelming, or bleak, try to remember all that you have accomplished. Try to recall all the hands that your own have held, all of the hugs, the kisses, the tears, and the smiles. All of it has been for a reason if we choose to accept our past and grow as a result. All of it has led to who you are now and inevitably create who you will turn into as well.

Olive: A Furry Little Update

Olive is officially a year old. I can't believe that it was only a few months ago when I was taking her home, her cute bunny self riding in Megan's lap on top of a blue fuzzy blanket for two whole hours. I know this sounds like some blog post about a baby, when Olive is only a bunny, but I guess that's what happens when you become a pet owner. I've watched Olive grow into her environment. The shy and nervous bunny I brought home is now comfortable in her own fur. She loves berries of all kinds, cilantro, spinach, carrots and celery. She can jump from the floor to my bed in a single bound and will sometimes let me cradle her like a baby if she is in the right mood. Oh, and she loves to groom you as if you were a rabbit as well. It's funny to watch her explore her surroundings freely, it's even funnier for her to assume that everything that is around her belongs to her and her alone. It's okay though, because it essentially is!

If you follow me on Instagram, you saw the aftermath of me giving her a carrot. I've given her carrots before, but for some reason this one carrot in particular turned her whole mouth into a orange mess. It even stained her little paws! She looked as if she had just eaten a whole bag of cheesy poofs. Needless to say it was the most adorable thing ever.

I look forward to many more years with this ball of fur and I cannot wait to see how her personality grows even more. I will always cherish our snuggle times, especially when I think I am done petting her and she shoves her head under my hand for just a few more pets. I really can't picture my life without her in it and I hope she feels the same way about me.

Life Changes

 I'm in the midst of a gigantic life change right now. I never thought what happened would ever happen, but sometimes you need to know when to walk away in order to keep your sanity intact.

I've been stuck on an emotional roller coaster for the past two months and sometimes I feel as though I can see the end in sight. During the middle of something like this one never knows if they are doing the right thing. Thoughts of the future seem overwhelming, especially when literally everything you've known for the past eight years comes crashing down and changes right before your eyes. The only comfort I have in this moment is the hope that things will be better, and they have to be or I will surely crash & burn.

It's hard to say goodbye, especially when it is a choice.

Bunny Woes

When I first brought Olive home I was stricken with anxiety. I finally had a bunny, she was perfect in every way, and somehow I couldn't get over the fear that in someway I wasn't going to be the best bunny momma to her. Once Olive and I made it back home I decided to spend some snuggle time with her on the couch while I watched Gossip Girl, even though she had just spent the last two hours sitting in Megan's lap during the car ride back home! Needless to say, Olive is an excellent "cuddler" she will sit there with her feet to my chest and her head under my chin and let me pet her endlessly.

After our snuggle session I put her in her cage for a little bit so she could adjust to her new home. An hour or so later, I set up a little playpen against the back of our couch. I made it out of huge cardboard boxes that I connected together - since I couldn't find a metal pen anywhere. I put down Olive's blue blanket and plopped her in, along with a few toys. She instantly explored the confinement of her pen, searching for a way out and refused to play with any of her toys. I was a little heartbroken, and I think that is when my anxiety started.

My panic was tied to the realization that I knew nothing about what the hell I had just gotten myself into. I thought she hated it, that she didn't want to be in her new home and that all she wanted to do was run away from me. So I cried to Megan for a few minutes and luckily she knew the right things to say, "She had a huge day." "She's getting used to the new place and needs time to settle in." "You'll be fine." And she was right.

The next morning, instead of setting up a circular play pen for her, I decided to utilize the hallway we have in the back of our house. I closed all the doors in the hallways, put up the cardboard barrier, put down her blanket, along with a little cardboard box for her to play with. I threw in some of her wooden toys, a toilet paper roll filled with timothy hay, and one of her bell balls. However, we have now moved Olive's play area from that hallway to our giant kitchen. And I think all three of us, my husband included, are better for it. It's so nice to watch Olive jump into, and over, her boxes and preen herself as she lounges around. And as a result I'm feeling a lot less panicked then I was last week.

I cannot wait to see how her amazing personality changes once she is fully settled in to her new environment.