Pin Curls & Memories

My sister and I spent a lot of time at my maternal Grandparent's house growing up. With our parents being divorced, and my Mom working full time, we spent the majority of our summers and afternoons at their house. Thankfully, I have a lot of wonderful memories with my Grandpa and Grandma.

I loved spending the night with them the most though; eating delicious home-cooked Italian dinners, talking and laughing while my Grandpa called me his little gypsy and watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune in the living room while Grandma would answer all the questions and solve all of the word puzzles out loud.


And I'll never forget how she would pin curl her hair. I remember her sitting in her recliner with a black, velvet pouch covered in pink & red flowers with dark green leaves resting in her lap. As she watched over us, she would gingerly section off her wet hair and slowly coil them into neat, little spirals on top of her head. Securing them into place with the metal bobby pins from inside that black velvet pouch. It was something I admired, even as a little girl. And something I can still so clearly remember as an adult.

Sometimes I wish, that after Grandma had passed, I would have asked to keep that pouch of her, those metal bobby pins still kept safely inside. Perhaps maybe having that memory is worth so much more. And it's weird to me, that something so innocent as recalling her doing that simple act will sometimes make me cry.

I Wish Everyday Was Halloween

One of the reasons why I love October so much is because of Halloween, big surprise, right? I mean the majority of my interests are all things morbid and strange - so it only makes sense. There is something magical about Halloween, maybe it's because the veil between the two worlds is at its thinnest, but whenever it begins I make it a point to surround myself with even more things that I adore. This usually results in an over indulgence of all things spooky and the little things that make Halloween amazing. There is a heavy rotation of scary movies, the consumption of those little mallow-creme pumpkins, my nose shoved into horror fiction, and the carving of pumpkins. For me, October means that during this special month the rest of the world seems to love all of the dark things that I love all year round.

Halloween: A Memory

I have always loved Halloween. There is something about the ghost stories, spooky movies, haunted houses and the songs we sung in elementary school (did anyone else used to sing "H-A-double L-E-W-double E-N spells Halloween"?) that made it mysterious and incredible. When I was younger I really loved dressing up and going trick-or-treating with my family and every Halloween, our cat would follow us down every road, like a dog, anxiously waiting at the end of each driveway. I can still recall the slight chill in the air, the glowing jack-o-lanterns and our pillow cases heavy with candy. When I was younger, Halloween was such a magical time when supernatural forces could have free range and come to life. And I swear, sometimes it still feels as if it could...

I Was a Teenage Goth Kid

It's time for me to be honest... I was a teenage goth kid. Shocker, right? For full effect, please note the sarcasm. I guess I still am, minus the teenage part -obviously. I mean I may not always dress like one, but inside it's there. I don't know exactly when my love for all things dark, morbid and strange started, but I do remember listening to Alice In Chains, Soundgarden and Stabbing Westward on the radio when I was in fifth grade. By sixth grade, I was exposed to Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Deftones and Type O Negative, and I haven't looked back since. My transformation happened in such an insidious way that I didn't really notice until I was getting called "little witch girl" in my Catholic middle school and "freak" by random people in malls.

By the time high school rolled around I was knee deep in Bauhuas, Christian Death, Sisters of Mercy, My Dying Bride, Skinny Puppy, Velvet Acid Christ and Ministry (just to name a few - trust me, I could go on for hours). Not to mention more black metal and death metal bands than you could shake a stick at. My world revolved around all things goth, industrial and metal and I LOVED it. I had the all black wardrobe, the piercings, black lipstick, fishnets and a plethora of Emily the Strange shirts. I had a library of Anne Rice's vampire novels, an endless supply of Johnny the Homicidal Manic comics and over watched VHS tapes of Lost Highway and Natural Born Killers. Not to mention NIN's Closure video that received constant play inside the overly poster-ed walls of my bedroom.

This was ninth grade. If faux flower decor isn't goth, I don't know what is. Thanks for the rad decorations in our home, Mom.

I haven't been a teenager in over twelve years (really how the hell am I 30?!), but I still can't seem to shake my inner goth kid. Yes, my music genres have broadened, especially compared to when I was younger, but I am still deeply in love with all of those bands and everything else, in regards to that subculture, that saturated my youth. And I'd be lying if I told you that my wardrobe didn't still consist of mostly black. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever grow up and move away from that, but I don't think it will be happening any time soon.


P.S. I may or may not have dabbled in some raver fashion and music for a short time, but trust me I had a good reason. PLUR, Kik jeans, candy bracelets and glowsticks forever, right? Hah. No.