30 July 2014

Through the Lens: All that glitters

I'm not sure why confetti was strewn across the concrete sidewalks of my town's public garden, but it was and it sure is beautiful.

28 July 2014

Magick & the Nocturnal State

The other day I found an amazing Witchcraft book that falls more in line with my idea of witchcraft and the type of magick that I want to focus on. It's called Nocturnal Witchcraft by Konstantinos. I have read several of his other occult themed books before and I have always been extremely satisfied with them. I am into the third chapter of the new book and so far I am loving everything he has to say. So far, he has made an interesting statement on how there are varying levels of good and bad, dark and light. I feel as though I fall into dark+light since I have always been drawn to the darker side of things (not evil, mind you) and I feel as though this book will truly cater to that part within me.

Other related books: Nocturnicon and Gothic Grimoire

21 July 2014

PS. I cut my hair...

I know it may not seem like a big deal to most people, but I have slowly gained the courage to cut my hair. My hair was pretty long a few months ago. Initially I took off two inches. The next time, it was three. Five inches in total is a lot - even if it wasn't all done at once. But I am absolutely in love with the length.

15 July 2014

Realizations

My best friend in the entire world spent the night on Friday and after a few too many drinks we found ourselves sitting outside at the end of my driveway - talking. We exposed so many vulnerabilities that night. Vulnerabilities that both of us were unaware existed within the other. We listed off insecurities that we had kept hidden behind a seemingly stoic silence that most everyone else mistook for strength. It's moments like these when I remember how far the both of us have come. And I feel lucky because there is something to be said about a friend who knows you at your worst and still loves you no matter what. I am lucky to have both my husband and my best friend in my life - they have been with me through my worst - and it is because of them that I want to be a better person. It has taken me awhile to get to where I am at now, but I am finally starting to see hints of the progress that I have made. Many of my years were filled with so much hurt and anger that it clouded the reality of what actually mattered. I know I have a lot to work on still, but the fact that I have such a patient support team behind me makes that difficult journey more worthwhile.

I just love the fact that bees are a symbol for diligence, resurrection and immortality.

10 July 2014

Witchery

For the past week I've been immersing myself in rediscovering Wicca. I've always leaned towards the occult and when my step-dad gave me a book on Wicca when I was in middle school I fell in love with the concept and ideals. So, when my friend divulged to me that she is a practicing Wiccan, I took the opportunity to pick her brain and she was sweet enough to let me borrow a stack of her books. My Book of Shadows is filling up rather quickly and this coming Monday my friend and I will be binding our own books!

07 July 2014

If you were to ask me...

If you were to ask me....
...two months ago if I was ever going to feel somewhat sane again, I would have laughed at you with a small amount of contempt.
>>>>Lately stress has seemingly diminished and I am loving every minute of it. I attribute this to more yoga.

...two weeks ago if I was looking forward to my last two semesters before I graduated with an AA in Liberal Arts, I would have told you to fuck off.
>>>>But now all I can think about is sitting in a classroom with the desire to learn pounding voraciously within my chest.

...two days ago if I felt the same way about my body as I do now, I would have told you HELL NO.
>>>>I swear my self-suspected body dysmorphia comes in crashing waves.

...two hours ago if I was full of energy and looking forward to work tomorrow, I would have replied with a resounding YES!
>>>>I'm pretty sure this is due to the fact that I had a strong cup of coffee at 2 in the afternoon.

03 July 2014

(un)hallowed


Have you ever been haunted by the memory of someone? The ghost of their essence still lingering in the darkest corners of your mind. It's terrible isn't? So in an effort to forget the past we graciously collect our baggage and try to move on. Never realizing that, in actuality, our baggage is quietly collecting dust. And when the startling truth presents itself, we are left wide-eyed and filled with the wanton desire to bury our past in (un)hallowed ground.

01 July 2014

Jelly electric.

There's something magical about witnessing the beauty of nature, one that we are unlikely to see - even if it is behind a thick pane of glass. I hadn't been to the aquarium in years and when I went with my husband yesterday I felt a sense of calm that I had forgotten since the last time I walked through those ocean exhibitions.